Sunday, November 23, 2008

The Invisible Economic Recession

While Eric Banana was out with the lovely Astro Girl yesterday, he took the chance to do a rough gauge of the sentiment surrounding consumer spending on a Saturday afternoon. With the current "economic crisis", Eric Banana was naively half-expecting the shopping malls to be nearly deserted. To his horror however, there were shoppers everywhere.

From what he saw, one would be left wondering exactly what kind of economic recession the country is currently going though. The LV Index was a reasonably healthy 5, which means that the boutique was full (Note: A certain "ideal" number of customers is allowed in the boutique at any one time.Once this number is reached, the boutique is considered "full". It doesn't mean that the boutique is packed with customers to the brim. It is only "full" to the extent that the customers inside the store would have a shopping experience they would expect out of a luxury goods boutique. Additional customers would have to queue. To allow one more person to enter the boutique, one of the customers inside the boutique has to step out of the boutique first.) The Coach Index was 0, but the store was at least 75% full. 

Armani Exchange was swarmed with customers but this could be due to the ongoing sale at all Club 21 outlets. (Say, wasn't there a Club 21 sale not too long ago?) While a 30 percent discount is quite attractive, 70 percent of the original price tag still sums up to quite an amount. Say, a $100 t-shirt. After 30 percent off, one would pay $70. That could pay for Eric Banana's lunch at work for one whole month ($3 a day multiplied by 22 days). That $70 could go a long way to helping the poor.

Despite the gravity of the economic situation, it would seem that some people have yet to fully realise how serious it really is. They may have escaped the negative impact of having their investments wiped out in the financial markets. They may have managed to cling on to their jobs... for now. But doomsday could come tomorrow for just about anyone since there is no such thing as an iron ricebowl. It's a bad time to become jobless because guess what, one would have to vie with many highly-qualified, experienced people for just one theoretical position (theoretical because that position may not even exist). Without that big, fat salary and obscene bonuses, excessive lifestyles would have to be adjusted drastically overnight. It's a long journey on the way down, so it's probably prudent to prepare for it as early as possible.

For Eric Banana, life is fairly simple. He merely watches the prices of bananas and hopes they don't skyrocket. *Eric Banana spied Astro Girl rolling her eyeballs in disbelief* Okay, maybe it is not thaaaaaat simple. Hmmm, so much for the benefit of the doubt. As for Astro Girl, she already led a lifestyle as if the economy was in a recession WHEN the economy was booming. She is not called "impossibly thrifty" for no reason yah?

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

An Astro Girl For Astro Girl

It would seem that time really passed like nobody's business this year - Christmas is approaching in less than two months' time! Which means it is that time of the year when Eric Banana will agonise over what to get for the lovely Astro Girl. Now, do not belittle this effort - it is not easy to fathom what Astro Girl secretly desires. She seldom shows interest in anything when they go window shopping. Furthermore, her taste mostly differs from the general female population.

While Eric Banana was looking for ideas online, he came across what he deemed as THE present he must get for Astro Girl. And guess what, it was a chance find on eBay!

Presenting the cutest-ever Astro Girl coin bank:



The truth is, Eric Banana has been on the look-out for a nice Astro Girl figurine for the longest time but he has never been able to find a suitable one. The Astro Girl coin bank tugged at his heart-strings straight away and he knew he had to get it for Astro Girl. The only problem is that one can be outbid on eBay, usually right before a bid ends. Despite revising his maximum bid twice, Eric Banana still felt insecure. He knew that if he did not win the bid, he will not be able to find the Astro Girl coin bank easily elsewhere. And that was a scenario he was not prepared to live with. Eventually, he went out of the way to be in front of his computer to ensure that he was the winning bidder.

Somehow Eric Banana is not good at keeping secrets of this nature. The only exception was his proposal plan but that is another story and will be covered in Part III of the AstroBanana Trilogy. Upon winning the bid, Eric Banana immediately told Astro Girl about her early Christmas present. Of course, Astro Girl asked about the price which Eric Banana was not going to disclose but she found out through her own means anyway. In her own words, she "cannot believe you paid so much to buy an Astro Girl coin bank with a bird on her head". In his defense, Eric Banana just feels that the Astro Girl coin bank is impossibly 可爱 and makes an excellent present for Astro Girl. The rest is immaterial to him.

Anyway, AstroBanana collected the Astro Girl coin bank from the eBay seller earlier this evening, and now Astro Girl is in possession of the cutest-ever Astro Girl coin bank. Eric Banana knows he will eventually see the coin bank again... in less than 11 months' time. Oops, did he just reveal his evil plan again? :P

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

LV Index

The LV Index is another of Eric Banana's proxy indicators, used for measuring economic wealth (read: accumulation of unnecessary luxury goods) and consumer spending (read: mindless splurging). Its value is derived from the length of the queue forming outside the LV boutique in Ngee Ann City; therefore, it can range from zero (wah, bo lang ah?!) to impossible (wah lau eh, the queue so looooong ah?!).

During good times (a.k.a. once upon a time), a queue of about 20 people or more can be spotted outside the LV boutique at any one time. A queue amounting to a grand total of zero was observed on a Monday night at about 7 p.m. Is it a sign of bad times, or can this be attributed to the Monday effect (who shops on Monday nights anyway?!)? The evidence is not conclusive at this point of time. It could be due to the rainy weather. Or maybe the branded-goods crowd was taking a break after invading the Club 21 sale last weekend.

For the record, Eric Banana doesn't really care. His beloved Astro Girl is not a fan of LV, or any crazily-priced branded bags for that matter. Shhhh.... don't give her any ideas though.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Last Man Standing

While Eric Banana was in Ngee Ann City earlier this evening for his Monday night yoga lesson, he took a quick peek at the remaining survivors of the 2008 MediaCorp Radio Subaru Impreza Challenge. Basically, each contestant has to plaster his or her right palm (pity the left-handers) flat on a designated palm decal on a designated vehicle (no prize for guessing what kind of vehicle it is though). No movement or lifting of the palm is allowed. A break of five minutes is given every six hours. There are a host of other rules involved which shall not be elaborated here. Just think "absolute misery" and you should get a pretty good picture.

So what motivates the contestants to challenge their limits so enthusiastically (a.k.a. torture themselves so willingly)? Well, the last man (or woman) standing walks away with the grand prize of a Subaru Impreza WRX. Actually, he or she would probably be closer to limping away with the prize instead but let's not go into technicalities here.

The record so far stands at 77 hours 13 mins, which was set in 2007. That is a freaking 3 days 5 hours 13 mins!!! Beyond the initial shock, Eric Banana is full of respect for the eventual champion. In fact, he is full of respect for anyone who can last beyond 24 hours. How can anyone stand it?! (Oops, pardon the pun.)

Despite being suitably impressed, Eric Banana is unlikely to sign up for the Challenge anytime soon, especially within this lifetime, due to the following reasons:
  • Eric Banana simply cannot stay still. He is not called "Fidgety Eric" for no reason. This dude fidgets a lot even when he is watching a movie or doing a yoga posture. How is he going to remain still for six hours?! 6 hours = 360 minutes = 21,600 seconds. The mere thought of that is horrifying enough.
  • Amazing but true, Eric Banana has accumulated a lot of bad karma, which has a direct correlation with the individual risk of being struck by lightning in an unlikely manner. The gamemaster says, "Roll 3D6 and get struck by lightning if the outcome is above 0", which is akin to shouting to the skies and mouthing "F-R-Y my donkey".
  • Eric Banana has thoracolumbar scoliosis, coupled with joint effusion in his knees. He would count his blessings if he can stand all the way on the train ride from Boon Lay MRT to Pasir Ris MRT.
Eric Banana also notes that there are a lot of palm decal positions on each vehicle, some of which are extremely favourable as they do not involve unnecessary contortion of body parts. It would seem then that the luck of the draw does play a part. Undoubtedly, some contestants are going to drop out with the consolation prize of a WII (read: Wrist Injury Inevitably)...

The skies have not been friendly these two days. For the sake of the remaining contestants' well-being, Eric Banana hopes that it will stop raining. Then again, whenever Eric makes a wish with regard to weather, the opposite usually comes true so...

Sunday, November 9, 2008

B For "BUNNY", Not "BARNEY"

While window shopping on Friday night, Eric Banana and Astro Girl were having a casual conversation...

Astro Girl: Hmmm, the physiotherapist recommended that I put in-soles in my shoes to alleviate my heel and knee pain.

Eric Banana (trying to be a thoughtful future husband) : Oh okay, maybe you should try that. Well, next time when we get married, I will buy you a pair of bunny slippers to wear around the house.

Astro Girl (semi-delighted): Really?! You will do that?

Eric Banana: Yah, why not?

Astro Girl: Hmmm, I thought you don't like Barney?

Eric Banana (rolling his eyeballs): BUNNY slippers lar. B-U-N-N-Y. Why would I get you a pair of BARNEY slippers?! To irritate myself?!!

Astro Girl: Hahahahahaha...

While they are going to get married in less than a year's time, there are still times when Eric Banana and Astro Girl *obviously* live in different worlds. And Eric Banana finds that he keeps getting tripped by Astro Girl moments... 

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Christmas Is All Around

After a hiatus of two weeks, Eric Banana was back in Ngee Ann City yesterday for his routine Monday night yoga class. As he left the building after his class, he spotted the gigantic Christmas tree being erected on Level 1. Yes, the one which people always crowd around to take pictures. Yes, it's probably the same tree as last year's. Given the current economic situation, who has spare cash to burn on Christmas decorations anyway?

For Eric Banana, the sighting of the Ngee Ann City Christmas tree is the indicator which signifies that Christmas is just around the corner. And yes, Christmas is indeed only less than two months away. How did the whole year just zoom past like that? Eric Banana does not really celebrate Christmas but he has always liked the feel during the festive season. He looks forward to spending time with Astro Girl in end-December. 

Actually, Eric Banana uses a whole bunch of proxy indicators in his daily life. For example, he noted that the pantry drawer at his workplace contained a wide assortment of biscuits and crackers when the company was doing well. As it started plunging into difficult times, there are now hardly any biscuits to be found in the drawer. Either that, or someone has been dipping into the cookie jar. Literally. Hmmm. Maybe the Cookie Monster.

Eric Banana also sees the crowd at Starbucks as an economic indicator. During good times, one would actually have to queue for at least 15 minutes to get a drink. During not-so-good times, the number of customers in the cafe can be easily counted with the fingers on one hand. Right now, Eric Banana buys kopi from the drinks stall at the foodcourt for the princely sum of one dollar versus a ransom of S$5.30 he would have to fork out for a tall cup of latte from Starbucks. Sometimes, he just drinks free coffee from the Nescafe machine in his workplace pantry. Oh well, times are bad.

After-Thought Addendum: Then again, the mystery of the disappearing biscuits may have no correlation with the company's performance after all. If Eric Banana did not remember wrongly, many of the former residents in the pantry drawer originated from Julie's and Khong Guan. And the Agri-Food and Veterinary Authority (AVA) has just announced last month that Malaysia-made Julie's biscuits and Khong Guan assorted biscuits are among those which were found to contain melamine. So the eviction of the biscuits may be a move for the interest of employees' health. A colleague casually commented that he could think of at least 10 brands of biscuits that are not associated with the recent melamine scare. Eric Banana summed it up best - "Well, I sure won't mind Marks & Spencer biscuits."

Monday, November 3, 2008

A Figment Of Eric's Imagination

AstroBanana met up with the mysterious Omega last Thursday for dinner at the newly opened Waraku Japanese Restaurant on the revamped fifth floor of The Heeren. The food was pretty good and affordable. There are also a wide variety of choices on the menu... almost too many. Dinner was originally supposed to be at Paragon's Sushi Tei restaurant but since it does not accept reservations, and the trio did not fancy having to queue for a table after a hard day's work, it was a no-go for Sushi Tei. 

On another note, has anyone ever checked out the impossibly long queue at the Sushi Tei outlet in Vivocity? That is one inexplicable mystery to Eric Banana. Good food? Hmmm, it's just another Sushi Tei restaurant. Good sea view? Well, let's just say there are a lot of restaurants in Vivocity with a good sea view. Opportunity to queue and waste your time while suffering hunger pangs? Okay, Eric Banana cannot really argue about that.

Anyway, AstroBanana are risking their lives to put up an exclusive photo of Omega on this blog:



What? You can't really see her face? Erm, that was the whole idea in the first place. You really thought AstroBanana will reveal her identity to the world at large?! 不要命啊?!

Eric Banana's original intention was to slap a mosaic on Omega's face but he realised that she is still recognisable especially when the edited photo is reduced to a very small size. He decided to introduce a motion blur to the entire photo to solve the problem instead. It also took care of Omega's little "request", which was *rolls eyeballs* to enlarge her boobs via Photoshop. Undeniably, she's in a class of her own.

Omega first met Astro Girl about a year ago (October 2007) although Eric Banana has been telling Omega about Astro Girl since March 2007 when they got attached. Omega's classic opening line to Astro Girl when they first met was....

"Wow! You really exist! For the longest time, I thought you were just a figment of Eric's imagination..."

Somebody should give Omega a prize.